Due to recent events(finally graduating from Boise State University) and my obsession with adventure and the world of music, my life is about to take a big turn! I am moving across the country to fulfill my desire to be around musically minded people, with big musical dreams. Where better to do this than Music City itself: Nashville, TN. I could not be more excited and nervous for what this new adventure will bring!
Though my financial situation may not be “ideal” to most of the people around me (I have no car and my bank account is far from impressive), I have no doubt in my ability to perservere and be successful in the decisions I make. Yes, I know what you may be thinking. “That’s a crazy decision”, or, “you need to save some money first so you’re not struggling”, or “wait until you’ve nailed down a job”, I’ve heard them all. But you know what? This is what I want and I’m ready to make a decision for me. Not for my family. Not for my coworkers. Not for my friends. Me. It might sound selfish, but honestly, the most important thing in my life is family and I make a great effort to maintain a good relationship with my loved ones. I just know that if I don’t make decisions that I think will make me happy and I worry too much about what the world around me thinks, I’m going to keep living in a dim, worrysome little bubble.
Let me tell you a little about me. “But Steph you’ve been talking about you this whole time already” I know, but let me just rant a little and give you the 411. So, I kind of have this slight tendency to begin projects and take forever to finish them. (something employers everywhere would probably love to hear). I tend to procrastinate and I justify putting things off. Luckily (to all you employers) that has drastically improved since having a professional, deadline based job. I don’t have the luxury of putting things off. I’m learning to manage my time and get things done.
Another little fact about me is that I have always worried, in every decision, how what I do will affect those around me. In relationships, in my work, what I’m going to study in school, how I present myself, what church I go to, what friends I choose to hang out with, even what music I listen to. I have ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS worried about what people would think of me. And it drove me insane. I began having panic attacks on a regular basis and because of certain life events, I became a very anxious person. I was worrying way too much and it was taking a toll on me. Again, over time, and by telling myself that everything’s going to be ok, this too has become less of an issue. Of course, I respect the opinions of my loved ones, but ultimately I’m the one that knows what’s best for me. I’m the one who has to live with the consquences of my decisions and I’m the one who has to deal with my mistakes.
So where am I going with all of this you may ask? Well, you’ve now learned 4 very important things about me that should help you understand why I’m moving and why I’m choosing to do it now:
#1: I have always had a dream to move to Nashville.
#2: I have a slight problem(always improving on this) with finishing projects and following through on big plans. (Big plans such as making a big move across the country)
#3: I worry way too much! In every single decision I make. This causes me to hold back and not think about what will truly make ME happy, regardless of what others might think. (For example, I started out at BSU in nursing because it’s a true service to society, a stable career and all three of my sisters, my mom, grandma, and brother are all nurses. Thankfully, I came to my senses and chose a career based on what I’m good at and my passion for art and design.)
#4: I’ve decided to make a change. I have finally made the decision to follow through on my big dream of moving to Nashville, regardless of what everyone around me may think.
And I could not be happier and more excited! I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never taken a bigger risk and the longer I wait to make the move, the easier it will be to talk myself out of it.
Now, before you go thinking things like: “oh brother, everyone tries to make it big in the music industry, the chances of her making it are slim to none.” or “She needs to think about her career and using her graphic design degree to make money rather than follow some crazy dream.” Well to all the doubters, if I really wanted to make it in the industry, who’s to say I couldn’t? But that’s not what is important to me. I’m not moving to Nashville to become famous. I’m moving to live submersed in the music culture. I will have a career in graphic design first and foremost, and in my spare time maybe I’ll sell my art at festivals and shows or bartend or wait tables or something. And maybe, if I feel like it, I’ll play some gigs. Not for fame, but to feed the fire in my heart that burns for making music.(so cheesy I know)
So the reason I’m moving to Nashville right now is because I need music and passion in my life. Music and art allow me to express myself in a way that nothing else can. Yes I may sound like a cheesy, hopeless romantic, but that’s only because I’m a cheesy, hopeless romantic. And I’m loving myself for being able to feel all these “irrational” emotions. They’re pushing me to do the things I love. I’m doing what makes me happy.